Monday, August 11, 2014

Minus The Meat (Dontcha put it in your mouth)

It was time. I no longer reside in Newfoundland, and the term "Baby Dyke" has never really been an apt one to describe me. After all, the only trucker hats I own have been pilfered from Lisa's collection.

So. Baby Dyke Goes to Newfoundland has become Minus The Meat

It's a play on words...Geddit???

Sweeping Generalization Time: GAys Don't Eat Things

Just about every lesbian I know has SOMEthing they won't put in their mouths. A non-exhaustive list of Things the gays don't eat includes (but is by no means limited to): Gluten, Sugar, Lactose, Animals, Animal Products, Starches, Refined Things, GMO Things, Conventional non-organic Things, Plants from the nightshade family, Non Fair Trade Things, Things that feed Yeast, Things that Had to Fly Here on a Plane, Things Jillian Michaels tells us not to eat, etc, etc, etc.

This is what vegan glutards eat for lunch on BC Ferries. I look delighted with my "cheezy" bean chips 

Which leads us to...

Meaning # 1): 

Lisa and I follow a plant based diet, and I'd like to use this as a place to share occasional recipes for carnivores in my life who are making an effort to consume fewer animal products and asked for some inspiration. I like telling people what to do, and how to live, so I am more than happy to share my endless opinions on this subject without being interrupted. 


 I have no problem with people who have informed themselves on the statistics regarding factory farming, their bodies, the environment, and the abuse many farmed animals endure, and continue to consume animal products. That's their bag, and I can respect that.

I have hesitated the entire time I've been writing this blog to discuss the vegan thing. People get their panties in a twist when they feel criticized, and nothing gets people more excited/ up in arms than attempting to discuss food/ lifestyle choices. But I LIKE the idea of getting other people to drink the Vegan Kool-Aid.The environment, your body, and the 99% of farmed animals that reside on factory farms (yup, even organic meat does not equal environmentally friendly meat) thank you.

I don't eat meat and don't consume animal products for many reasons. My body feels better, my brain feels clearer, I get sick less. As an individual, statistically, the single easiest thing I could do to reduce my carbon footprint was to stop consuming animal products. As an environmentalist, I could do so much better in lots of areas. I still shower way too often, sometimes for twenty minutes plus... I still forget my reusable bags, and I forget to turn the heat off when I leave the house. I also love airplanes and travelling on them.

Basically, I'm lazy. And eating animal bits wasn't that important to me. So in the name of Lazy Environmental Activism, I became a Vegan.

And there are so many delicious alternatives.

Like this. You should make these. They're easy to make, and can't be screwed up (they even taste good if you burn 'em) They're a good post-workout snack, they pair well with hashbrowns and spicy kale stir fry for brunch, they're high in protein, they're gluten free, they go well with rice and veggies and almond butter dipping sauce for dinner... They're an all round solid choice.

Sesame Ginger Tofu Strips 

(The St. John's brunch crowd will have eaten these repeatedly)

Find these:

A block of pressed tofu. 
1/2 cup toasted sesame seeds
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup bragg's liquid aminos
2 cloves garlic, minced
Thumb sized piece of ginger, grated (more if you're a ginger freak)

And then do this: 

-Preheat oven to 375
-Whisk the last four ingredients in a shallow dish
-Cut yer tofu into strips (thinner=crispier)
-Saturate yer tofu with the gingery-saucy mix (marinating overnight/for a few hours is ideal but not essential)
-Dredge saucy strips in sesame seeds, making a crust on both sides
-Pour extra sauce over top before baking or reserve as base for a spicy almond butter sauce or put em on steamed/stir fried kale... the possibilities!
-Bake on parchment/silicone lined tray for 20-30 mins (depends on how crispy you want them/how hungry you are)
-Eat them. If you're lazy like us but still want to dip them in something, chipotle vegenaise is delicious.

A block of tofu will usually feed two people, unless you're gross like us and can polish off a block of tofu each in one sitting.

If I bring these to a potluck, I arrange them on a bed of spicy steamed kale, with dipping sauce in a ramekin in the middle (I'll post this recipe next time)

Your tofu strips should look nothing like this. (Also note: Lisa's Black Eye, courtesy of Marvin)

In Conclusion, and while we're on the subject of Things Lesbians Will and Will Not Put in their Mouths...

Meaning # 2) Woman Gays don't like Man Meat.

There. I AM absolutely WiNNing at Blog Naming today.

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